would you like the receipt in the bag? merry bloody christmas

I'm sure that is possibly a tad blasphemous, but I don't mean it to be (I am a Catholic girl, after all). I have no Christmas spirit this year, and I know the blame for this can be laid at the foot of one demon - Retail. If you work in a shop Christmas doesn't start until 6pm on Christmas Eve, when you finally get to leave and enjoy Christmas like all the other joes.

For the last two Christmas's we've had the tree up on the requisite twelfth day before (and it always down on the twelfth day after), but then we had guests and visitors and what not, so it seemed like the right thing to do. This year I just can't motivate myself to do it. I can't motivate myself to buy presents or cards, and even though mum gave me a box of cards I can't motivate myself to write them. The flat looks like a bomb has hit it, and I'm trying to convince myself to tidy it and then I can put the tree up. But that's almost a reason not to... And to say I'm broke this year is a massive understatement. Since we moved into this flat I have never been free of my overdraft. I get paid on Friday and I will still be three figures overdrawn when I do.

So if you know me and didn't get a card or present this year, please, do not despair. You are in hallowed company, and it's nothing personal. I promise when I no longer work in retail I will make it up to all of you with the most sickening Christmas's known to mankind. You'll wish I was still working in a shop.